coaches

Coaches
The coaches at Southern Utah University are the youngest coaching staff in America. By saying this your first thought is probably “I bet that is a shit show…coaches stuck between trying to be professional and the players friends.” But it is not like that at all, our coaches have great credibility and handle themselves with nothing but professionalism. The coaches have earned all of the players respect we know that they know best and we have too buy into whatever they say (not so much Ronnie). It is not like in high school when some twenty eight year old guy shows up to coach when he was only second string long snapper for the freshman until he graduated. What do you mean that only happens in Roosevelt?
Coach Lamb is an awesome guy, a little weird but a good guy. When I first met Lamb I had no idea who he was. I was going up to the coaches office to tell the old coaches that Blake was going to be gone for a week. This guy with this shit eating grin introduced himself to me. The next thing I know I am sitting there in his office being interrogated about the ins and outs of our program. I didn’t have a lot to say I was ineligible. So when he noticed that his questions kept leading him down a one way street to HeLLifiknow he said “see you Monday”. That is kind of the way he is, not much for small talk. He either questions you or tells you what you need to hear (whether you want to hear it or not) then he dismisses you. A good head coach though, great with words, and really honest.
Then there is another coach, where do you begin with this guy? He has split personalities, either thirteen year old giggly girl who is happy and joking, or a 33 yr. old having flash backs of being a wedge breaker in the NFL. He can be one of the coolest guys in the world. He is hilarious, calling people insanely vulgar names. Whether he is blindsiding and giving Ronnie whiplash/spinal injuries multiple times or throwing Steve Lamb (coach Lambs little brother) rolling ten yards across the weight room. He is a ticking time bomb waiting to unleash his un-human anger on some innocent by stander. His knowledge for football is incredible, and when he is in a good mood he is an awesome guy. But you can’t tell if he is faking being happy or not. Like before a game, he is weirdly happy like a thirteen year old boy who just saw his best friend’s older sister in her underwear happy. You don’t want to smile back or anything because he might break your neck and fill the water cooler with your blood.
Shhhwwitt!!! One of our coaches is classic for making that sound in meetings. Every time that he does it I just want to keep doing it over and over. Shhhwwit! He is the wordiest guy I have ever met. He could write a ten page paper on how to tie your shoe. My favorite is when we have an equipment announcement and he says “K” a hundred times like we don’t understand how to put our names on our helmets and pads, and return everything else to the soft room. I like it when we are either at practice or in meetings and he turns his hat on backwards. You know he means business, he is one of the really pale guys so he instantly goes beet red, starts kick stepping, yelling “boom” and “shhhwwwit”. But all in all he is a really good guy and means well. And if it wasn’t for him a probably would have quit.
It is hard to pick out our coaches little quirks but I don’t know all of them on a personal level. I would probably lose my followers if I talked about Ronnie. If there was a way to type in monotone I would try to talk about him.